Stuck at Home with a Cold: A Poem

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By Abby Berman Mazenod

 

I guess it’s simply nice

To be here right now

In this day or night

Or whatever we say it is

Not feel time

Not be a part of time

Slow down

Where there is no time

Where time does not exist

And to be given this gift

My beautiful perfect gift

Given to myself, by myself

And so I give me this day

And this day is mine

I will cherish it

As if it is the only day I will ever have

 

-Abby

http://www.tracingabby.com

 

 

 

She’s the One: A Song

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By Abby Berman

 

 

Like a storm that drowns your soul

Then waits for you to come back again

Take the pieces, once so whole

She waits for you to run back again

 

She’s the one

Your angel, who somehow fell from grace

She’s the one

You kiss her, her porcelain angel face

Let her go

It kills you, it breaks your tender heart

You should know

She’ll slowly tear you apart

 

Like a storm that drowns your soul

Then waits for you to come back again

Take the pieces, once so whole

She waits for you to run back again

 

She’s the one

Your savior, the healer of your pain

In your dreams

You see her, she lets you live again

Let her go

It kills you, but you’ll be better off in time

You should know

They watch her, eat you alive

 

Like a storm that drowns your soul

Then waits for you to come back again

Take the pieces, once so whole

She waits for you to run back again

 

She’ll never give to you

All the things you expect her to today

She’ll only say to you

All the world she knows you want her to say

She’ll never give to you

All you need

Because there is no cause for hope… Β when there is no loss of vanity

 

Like a storm that drowns your soul

Then waits for you to come back again

Take the pieces, once so whole

She waits for you to run back again

 

…Take the pieces, once so whole

She waits for you to run back again

 

Written and performed by: Abby Berman

Recorded by: Gabe Dulek

 

***In simplest terms, this is a song about a man who falls in love with a demon.

"She's the One", a song by Abby Berman

“She’s the One”, a song by Abby Berman

Because of You: A Song

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By Abby Berman

 

Do I have to look alive

To be living

Do I have to look alive

To be breathing

I choose not to move

Because of you

 

Do you have to see my pain

For me to be hurting

Do you have to see the pills

For them to be working

I’m hurting whether you like it or not

Because of you

 

Such answer waiting here

Such a dream to be taken from me

Scared to death to lose everything

That doesn’t mean anything… anything… anything

Oh, I’ve felt it too…

To love somebody who doesn’t deserve you

 

Do I have to grit my teeth

While I’m smiling

Will I ever understand

Such a wild thing

I’m crazy, I’m losing my mind

Because of you

 

Such an answer waiting here

Such a dream to be taken from me

Scared to death to lose everything

That doesn’t mean anything

Should have known better from the start

But who could live that way

Scared to death to lose everything

That doesn’t mean anything… anything… anything

Oh, I’ve felt it too…

To love somebody who loves to hurt you

 

Do I have to look alive

To be living

Even though I close my eyes

I’m still breathing

I watch the world spin me to sleep

Because of you

 

 

Note: This is one of the saddest songs I’ve ever written… it captures a time in my life when I was experiencing true heartache. Luckily the specific details of this song are not literal and were inspired by a piece of literature I was reading at the time.

 

Have a beautiful day,

xoxo-Abby

 

http://www.TracingAbby.com

 

 

 

 

Me & You: A Song

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Written and performed by: Abby Berman

Recording engineer: Gabe Dulek

 

 

Let’s go get married

Let’s start a family

Every minute I’m with you

Is a minute that I love

Let’s go get happy

I know it’s sappy

But there’s nothing I can do

There’s no one quite like you

When everything is so confusing

Doesn’t seem like it makes sense

Me and You

 

You’ll have your paintings

I’ll have my music

We can travel around the world

I can be your funny girl

And when we’re older

We’ll cry together

With those bills we’ve got a pay

While our children move away

When everything is so confusing

Doesn’t it seem like it makes sense

Me and you

Oh, the whole world is so confusing

Does it really make any sense?

Me and You

 

Hoping for something deeper to drown me in the light

Is there any more I should be waiting for

when this dream is such a sight

Speaking for something stronger than what most people show

Is there any more I should be waiting for

When this is all I want to know

 

I guess I’ll just stay here

Standing unnoticed

When you’re the only one I’d give

This life I’ve got to live

When everything is so confusing doesn’t it seem like it makes sense

The whole world is so confusing does it really make any sense

Yes, everything is so confusing and we still don’t make any sense…

Me and You

 

Let’s go get married

Let’s start a family

Every minute I’m with you

Is a minute that I love…

That I love

 

 

xoxo-Abby

http://www.TracingAbby.com

 

 

 

 

Porcelain Doll: A Song

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Written by Abby Berman

 

I was once a porcelain doll

Do you remember me when?

I was conceived of lace and pearls

Did you like me better then?

I remember when I understood…

I remember when I understood…

Only good

 

I once had a velvet rose

That smelt of joy

Given in the perfect world

By the perfect boy

I had diamonds in my ears

And hair of gold

A love for all to see

A dream for anyone to hold

I remember when I understood…

I remember when I understood…

Only good, only good, only good

Only good, only good, only good

 

Maybe I’m a little distracted

As I’m on my way home

Maybe I’ve overreacted

And that’s why I’m alone

And maybe, just maybe

I’m a little confused

Maybe my porcelain heart

Is just a little bit bruised

 

Hold me now

Just a little tonight

Just a little tonight

Make me feel alright

Hold me now just a little

A little tonight

Love me now

Just a little tonight

Just a little tonight

Make me feel alright

Love me now just a little

A little tonight

 

I was once a porcelain doll

Do you remember me when?

I was conceived of lace and pearls

You would have liked me better then

I remember when I understood…

I remember when I understood…

Only good

 

( This was a song I wrote quite a few years ago when I was a new adult having trouble with the idea of growing up. I was in this weird in-between place where I wanted to be taken seriously as a mature individual, and I wanted to experience new exciting adult things, but I was still mourning for an innocent childhood that was quickly floating away. It was such a hard and confusing time in my life. It’s been probably 10 years since I have written this song, but I felt like I needed to share it. It still makes me a little achy when I play it.)

xoxo-Abby

 

Written and recorded by: Abby Berman

Recording engineer: Gabe Dulek

 

http://www.tracingabby.com

http://www.facebook.com/AbbyBermanMusic

Gabriella: A Song

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By Abby Berman Mazenod

 

Given the circumstances

Given the chain of events

I’ve made my deductions

I’ve come to my conclusions

With theories upon theories

That I’ve made up in my mind

Didn’t take long to discover

That you’ve left him behind

 

Gabriella, Gabriella

Oh, he’s such a perfect fella

But you won’t listen to me

And the love that it could be

Gabriella, Gabriella

You’re his only Cinderella

And oh, you’re missing the boat

I only hope you’ll still float

…Given the circumstances

 

You deserve a good man in your life

So many have taken advantage of you

And maybe you look for that

But you deserve some sanity too

You’re my friend and I respect that

But I think you should listen to me

And I wish you could see in you

All that I see in you

 

Gabriella, Gabriella

Oh, he’s such a perfect fella

And you won’t listen to me

And the love that it could be

Gabriella, Gabriella

You’re his only Cinderella

And oh, you’re missing the boat

I only hope you’ll still float

 

‘Cause he won’t wait around

As long as you want him to

You’re lucky enough

He’s still around after what you put him through

Don’t you see it?

Don’t you feel it?

Don’t you get it?!

He’s all you’ve been waiting for

You’re letting him walk out the door

 

Gabriella, Gabriella

Oh, he’s such a perfect fella

But you won’t listen to me

And the love that it could be

Hope you find him, hope you found him

‘Cause you know you’re only drownin’

And oh, you’re missing the boat

I only hope you’ll still float

…Given the circumstances

 

(This song was written about a beautiful friend of mine who has had a little bit of rough luck with love. She’s still on the journey of finding love, and I know she will find someone who really deserves her soon.)

 

xoxo-Abby

http://www.tracingabby.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Every Ounce of Me: A Poem

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By Abby Berman Mazenod

 

In case I never feel this way again, I’m just going to feel

In case my heart is never this full again, I’m going to drink it in as much as I can

In case the whole world crashes down on me

In case we don’t end up where we’re supposed to be

I’m going to love you with every ounce of me

 

In case I wake up one day, and my life has been a dream

And all this that feels so real and alive, is just a song painted in my mind

You need to know while it’s so real to me

Just know how it feels to me

Know how I love you with every ounce of me

 

And if I’m too young to make all this make sense, can I please not be a fool

And I’m too naive to understand such a find, can I please not have made it up in my mind

You need to know how it’s so real to me

You need to know how it feels to me

Know that I love you with every ounce of me

 

-Abby

 

http://www.tracingabby.com

Don’t Give Up On Me Yet: A Song

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Don’t Give Up On Me Yet

By Abby Berman Mazenod

 

 

It’s simple they say

Life simply gets in the way

And I forget

To remember what’s really real

I’m sorry I don’t show

I forget to let you know

Times have changed

But the phone still goes both ways

I’ve disappointed a few

Like I’ve disappointed you

Can you forgive and forget

I’ve disappointed a few

And I disappointed you

Don’t give up on me yet

 

Do you rewind through memories

Perfect times with perfect ease

It all makes sense now

We had no idea

If we went back right now, right here

Would it finally all be clear

All that seemed so important

Meant nothing at all

I’ve disappointed a few

Like I disappointed you

Yes, I have my regrets

And I have forgotten a few

But I never forgot you

So, don’t give up on me yet

 

Tell you right here right now

That I finally see how much you mean to me

It’s taken time

And it’s happened so very gradually

But I’ve had my time

Made my life the way I wanted it to be

And you had yours

And I know that made you happy

 

It’s simple they say

Life simply gets in the way

And I forget

To remember what’s really real

Yes I have forgotten a few

But I never forgot you

So don’t give up on me yet

 

***Β This is a song/poem about keeping in touch. The older we get, the harder it seems to be to make the important people in our lives feel that they are important. It also becomes a challenge for us to realize how much we need certain friends and loved ones in our lives. I am all for filtering out the toxic people that weigh us down, but sometimes we need to take note of the special people who build us up; The ones that help you and me to be a better you and me. This was really inspired by losing touch with one of my closest friends and my attempt to reconnect.

 

xoxo-Abby

http://www.tracingabby.com

http://www.facebook.com/AbbyBermanMusic

abigailmazenod@gmail.com

Bracelet lost on a Subway: A Poem

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By Abby Berman Mazenod

 

you were never really mine

your paper beads of turquoise blue

and some of glass the color of brass

and the color of silver teeth

 

you were made far away

a gift by delicate hands

in the ache of the sun

in the ache of the sand

 

and when you were mine

i believed you were mine

but there is no mine, no yours

there is always only ours

 

and though someone thinks that they have theirs

which I seemed to think was also mine

it will really only ever be ours

ours, and whoever it touches next

 

your fragile clasp refused to hold on

I knew you wouldn’t stay mine for long

but that was your gift, your intent

to be in the world, and feel the world, and feel the ones who live in it.

 

 

(Just a note: I was very inspired by something someone once told me about losing jewlery. They said that when you lose a piece of jewlery, it is meant to be lost. Whatever the reason, that token was needed by someone else in that moment more than you. It also reminded me of the connectedness with others that I am striving for in my own life, and made me feel like this little bracelet that I lost can maybe brighten someone else’s day.

The bracelet itself was made by women in Northern Uganda and sold by 31 Bits.)

 

Xoxo -Abby

 

http://www.tracingabby.com

 

A Small Gift: A Poem

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By Abby Berman Mazenod

 

Don’t let them affect you

Don’t let them infect you

Don’t let them be the ones to bring you down

 

Because you know how to see without eyes

And you know how to feel without hands

And you know what isΒ right and what’s wrong

 

It breathes in the pit of your stomach

It speaks from the inside of your ears

It stomps on the imaginary walls that they have tried so hard to make real to you

 

 

Don’t make this a statement of rebellion

Don’t think of this as a cry for help

This is merely a small gift from me to you

 

A token of hope to keep in the pit of your stomach

Next to what you know is right and what is wrong

 

-Abby

 

http://www.tracingabby.com